percussion gUn

Hey have you guys seen that movie where a guy is sent to uproot a native culture, ends up being saved by them, and taught their way, goes through their rituals finally becoming one of them, and ends up fighting against the side he was originally with?

Oh yeah, the Last Samurai…

No, its the one where he originally was there to help decimate the jungles to take its natural resources but a native girl ends up showing him the beauty of nature and he ends up fighting to stop the destruction

Yeah I love Ferngully…

No, I’m talking about the movie where a white guy travels from a very far off land to strip land and goods from the natives, only to find himself becoming one of them, falling in love with the chiefs daughter (who was promised to someone else), and sympathizing with their cause. Also there’s a sacred tree. Then at the end the white people attack and our hero decides to fight to save the tribe.

Pocahontas, what about it…

No, this guy gets sent to this outpost in a far off land where he encounters, and is eventually accepted into the local tribe. As time passes he becomes enamoured by a beautiful member of the tribe. Not soon after, as the army advances on the native’s land, the guy decides to fight for the tribe, who he now considers his people.

Dance with Wolves, I don’t much care for Kevin Costner…

No the guy’s job is to get the a group of people to relocate, and everyone kinda looks down on them, until he becomes one of them, and it turns out their a lot wiser than people thought, and the guy switches his allegiances and helps them, all the while he is hunted by his former employers..

Yeah it’s called District 9 so what?

No, no, see in this movie a white guy meets natives who have different colored skin and are much taller than him and after a series of tests joins their tribe and…

Oh ok, The Air Up There…

No a guy spends a lot of time with a girl under false pretenses but slowly falls in love, then when she finds out, she feels betrayed but he tries to explain that things changed, that he fell in love, but she wont have it. And…

She’s All That?!

No not She’s All That…umm ok theres a tribe right? and this guy gets called in to do a job, ends up spending tons of time with the tribe, turns out some business types just want the tribe gone so that they can exploit this extremely valuable resource that happens to be on the tribe’s sacred land. So this outsider gains the trust of the tribe, becomes very in tune with nature, sleeps with the promised daughter of the Chief, and when the invasion comes he fights for the tribe, but it isn’t going very well until nature itself intervenes and the tribe along with the animals join forces to drive out the heartless invaders.

Ok yeah, Ace Ventura 2: When Nature Calls…

No, what? No, the guy hooks up to this remotely controlled body through a machine…

Surrogates…

No, he can’t use his legs, except through this crazy future technology, and in the end he turns out to be the one that saves everybo…

Star Wars, Darth Va…

No,the natives go to war with the futuristic state of the art army with only bows and arrows and stones, but with the help of some humans they manage to beat them

Yeah Star Wars, the battle for Endor in Jedi…

No it’s the one where they have sex by locking ponytails

Oh Avatar, yeah that movie sucked.